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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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Our new Wanker of the Week is, by popular demand, Chief Fire Officer Stephen Hunter of Tayside Fire and Rescue Service.
 
One of his firemen, 42-year-old Tam Brown, is the subject of an internal investigation because he breached safety rules during a rescue in the River Tay in Perth. He spent eight minutes in the cold water and at one stage feared that he would be swept to his death. But after dragging a 20-year-old woman to safety he was told by his employer that he had acted improperly by risking his life.
 
Mr. Brown, who has 15 years experience as a fireman, was hailed as a hero by the young woman's family but Tayside Fire and Rescue said that he had broken the brigade's 'standard instructions' on safety procedure. He said yesterday, "I was expected to watch that young girl die in front of me. As a father and a caring human being, I couldn't live with myself if I'd had to do that".
 
The woman, who has nor been identified, is believed to have jumped into the river, as a "cry for help". A member of the public called 999 and she was thrown a rope, but she was in danger of being sucked under by the current. Many drowning victims die before the emergency services arrive. Tam Brown said, "We had seconds to act. The girl was losing consciousness. We had one harness, so I put it on and went down 20ft on a safety line, grabbed her and held her out of the water. My colleagues tried to pull us towards the steps but the current was so bad and the rope was pulled so hard it snapped. I swam for the steps with her in my arms and we were pulled out."
 
The brigade's rules state: "Personnel should not enter the water." The fire crew should have used ropes and poles to save the woman, but Stephen Hunter admitted that fire engines in Perth were not equipped with the correct poles and ropes. Nevertheless he insisted that Tam Brown had broken the rules. "Fire-fighter safety is of paramount importance to us. Although our duties include rescue from flooding, there is no statutory obligation to carry out rescues from moving water. We are investigating exactly what happened, and once that is concluded we will consider what action is necessary. That could include disciplinary action".
 
Steve Hill, chairman of the Perth branch of the Fire Brigades Union, said, "Not one senior officer has congratulated Tam or the other officers who attended the incident that night. The crew should be elated they saved a life but they face disciplinary action instead. If Tam hadn't gone in, the public might have tried to save her and we could have ended up with several dead".
 
By our Wanker's own admission his fire engines don't actually carry the right equipment to do the job as instructed, and this is a managerial failure that itself ought to trigger disciplinary action. But even more intriguing is this expression "there is no statutory obligation to carry out rescues from moving water".
 
What does this mean, exactly? A fireman's job description doesn't say "if someone falls in moving water, rescue them"? I don't expect it says "if a cute ickle kitten gets stuck up a tree, climb up a ladder and get it down" either. It probably doesn't say "breathe regularly" but most firemen do.
 
And what does "statutory" mean? The Concise Oxford Dictionary says it's "required by statute", and a "statute" is "a written law of a legislative body". Now even someone like Stephen Hunter with scarcely enough brains to fill a spoon ought to be able to work out that very few bits of a fireman's job - or anyone's job, for that matter - are specified by act of parliament. Quite a lot of people manage to do their jobs without, and that could well include firemen who might be able to look at the title of the organisation they work for - "Tayside Fire and Rescue Service" in Hunter's case - and work out for themselves that this means they're supposed to put out fires and rescue people. It's not called the "Tayside Fire and Operative Preservation Service", for God's sake!
 
I have no doubt at all that Stephen Hunter would be quick to claim that his job requires him to put the safety and well-being of his officers above everything. What a good job his officers don't feel the same. He should take a leaf from their book, and consider the following …
 
Just claiming to be "following orders" is no justification for evil or stupidity, as many German war-criminals found out. If your job requires you to do something wicked or ridiculous, you have several options:
 
(a) Demand that your job description be altered.
(b) If that doesn't work, stand up for yourself like Tam Brown did. Disobey.
(c) And if that doesn't work, leave. Get another job.
 
Oh, and in case anyone wonders, The GOS has in his time done all three. He never regretted it.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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